97pounds.

AAAAH

2010-07-27T14:47:00.000-07:00

doctors tomorrow!!!!

10.50

i must apparently weigh 50KG

but on mon i was 46 and then today weird fluctuation to 47.9!!!!!!!

i'm back

2010-07-27T14:43:00.000-07:00

Right, so i've been gone - i've been in Rhodes Farm Clinic!!

They made me gain to 54KG!!!!!! or 8st 5lbs

but now 2 months after 'discharge' i'm back to around 47KG or 7st 7lbs

i need to be at 45, then 43, then 40 then eventuallly 31.

i'm back down to always less than 900 cals a day well today i has 747 :)

oh more bad news

2010-02-04T08:46:00.000-08:00

my mother forced me off to the doctors

who saying i'm ill!

WHATEVE, it's a diet not an illness stupidoooo doctor.

so now they're all like we'll get you a eating disorder specialist and all that crap when i totally dont need it and they're only trying to make me fat which isnt hard considering i still am you can barely see any of my bones. so thats SHITTY!!!

Why

2010-02-04T08:40:00.000-08:00

i was doing so well.

last week only 800 calories for the whole week

and the week before only 1250 for the whole week

so why did i just binge on 700 calories??

that will mean that this week i'll have

2450 (350 @ 7 days)

+ 700 (binge)

--------

3150

- 700 (dance and kickboxing)

- 700 (wave machine 70 minutes)

-------

if i go to the gym 3 times; i.e friday, sunday and tuesday and ensure 700 a time and don't go over my 350 at all

i'll be on 350. for the week!

which i know is quite good but still i binged!!!!! really badly and that is not going to help me shift the fatness.

oh i just realised i havent updated stats for a while

CW - approx 48kg or 105/6 lbs

BMI - 16.7

waist - 22.5 in

thighs - 18in

arm - 8.5 in

pelvis - 32 in

hips - approx 33in

low hips - approx 35in

fat rating - HEFFA!!

christmas

2009-12-25T19:13:00.000-08:00

today was christmas.

it was awful - i consumed 1900 calories. its okay though because tomorrow i will burn 1600 calories, meaning that i will have infact only consumed 300 as per usual.

however today i had a major meltdown when i looked in the mirror and realised how thick my stomach is. it's HUGE!!!

Also, does anyone know the size 0 measurements??

and if a BFP is actually any use because mine says i'm obese/ does anyone have an accurate calculator?

thanks, hope you had better days.

SHIT

2009-12-17T09:53:00.001-08:00

OMG, so much for alls'well i've consumed 1250 calories today. 1050 OVER my allowance, i have no idea what happened i just started eating and couldn't stop the i couldn't purge god it's awful. i feel like i must have gained pound and pounds and pounds. i hate myself so much. i desperately need some inspiration...

AHHH those skinny arms and legs, and those checkbones LUSH. i thinks theres some xylophone in there too. lovely skinny girls. this is what one day i will be like too.

going well

2009-12-17T09:50:00.000-08:00

okay so the last few days have been really really good. Even though i havent blogged, sorry about that, basically i realised the importance of counting fats and carbs too. and i've dropped my allowance, its now at <200 or less a day. i've lost 4lbs in 4 days and now my bmi is 18. god i'm so content right now, i'm still fat hidiously grossly fat but atleast the scales say its changing.

1890

2009-12-11T14:09:00.000-08:00

i just ate my way through 1890 calories. I WANT TO DIE!!!

i am now 121lbs and fat and rubbish and useless and why the fuck am i even here? does life just want be to fail and be fat and die and URGH.

AIM

2009-12-11T11:00:00.000-08:00

does anyone have aim?

lemme know, or add me elizabethroselie.

what a result

2009-12-08T10:45:00.000-08:00

i managed to lose 2.25lbs so far this week, currently stand at 118.75lbs.

even though when i look in the mirror i swear i get bigger every single time. it makes me so mad, i just wish i had no fat on me at all like all my bones are stuff were nicely presented in my lovely thin flesh with no FAT. Sometimes i think i can see my bones and then i remember i must be hallucinating because i'm too fat to be model skinny and have nice bones yes and somedays its like i can see what people mean when they say i've lost weight but then it just fades and all the fat seems waay more obvious. If i were thin then i'd be a model and i'd be gorgeous and skinny and it would be fantastic. but i'm not and i wish i were. URGH just let mee be them with their stunning checkbones, and thighs, and arms, and stomach and bones etc.

TARGETS

2009-12-07T14:27:00.000-08:00

I have just realised I haven't said what my goals are :S, so I shall.

Weight : 97lbs

BMI : 15.2

WAIST : 21

HIPS : 29

BUST : 29

SHOULDERS : 32

WRISTS : 4.5

UPPER ARMS : 7

THIGHS : 16

obviously these will decrease with time, but for now this is my goal.

apples, carrot and pepper

2009-12-07T14:26:00.001-08:00

These foods are god sends. Delicious on their own and very low cals.

Apple - 53 cals

Carrot - 17 cals

Pepper - 5 (green) 18 (red and yellow)

I shall continue to eat them and maybe one day i'll reach my targets...

OMG HOW?

2009-12-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

i know after last week i'd gone over my allowance enough to make me gain a pound, which lets be honest is shameful and makes me feel sick. But it was still a shock to the system.

I really need to go the gym, my size 27" firetrap jeans are not lose anymore, this is a very very very bad sign. I can't believe how fat i still am, i mean you can kinda see my spine and collars but still. i've got gross tummy flab and thigh flab not to mention my arms.

i need a thinspo to make me feel a little better, and show me what i can and will achieve by my next summer. so i can go to the beach and have other stare in envy.

Hollla

2009-12-07T07:49:00.000-08:00

Hey, I thought I should start by introducing myself and whats going on with me. In august, about 4 ish months ago I decided that I needed to up my as-yet failing attempts to lose weight. So I started Weight Watchers, don't know if you've heard of it but basically you work on a points basis fat and calorie ratio. Well I began to lose weight, going from my highest 148lbs down to about 140lbs in probably 1 and 1/2 months. This I thought was far too slow progress, so I brought down my points gradually, I was then eating only 15 points of food a day probably about 1400 calories. I reckon I was about 130lbs by this point and it was september. By the beginning of October i'd forgotten about the points and was now working with pure calories instead. My measurements were now being regularly recorded and i'd even binged/purged a couple of times.

i've been carry on like this but i've come to a halt. i've stopped at 120lbs, and it's just not good enough. i'm still trying to only eat 1000 calories a day and I probably binge and purge once but it cancel each other out, so i'm consuming and keeping inside me 1000 calories. Which is far too many.

I need support to keep going, i need to reach 97lbs and i need to lower my calorie intake but i have no-one to turn to. Please help me keep going? reply and comment me as we work together to make me thinner and in turn beautiful.